Shop Mobile More   DeviantArt is currently in read-only mode for system maintenance
poems have been hard to write lately.
every time  i start to write the first words to come out are always 'you', or 'i', or 'love', or a combination of the three.
i think it's so confusing, and i find you everywhere, every song, ever raindrop, every smile.
           and you never see me.
of course, i know you're not looking for me anyway.
but {i wish} i could dream, couldn't i?

teenage fantasies of us run through my head like [a]pathetic lyrics.
i think of your lips on mine. warming them up.
and a tear falls down my cheek because a piece of me dies.

by the way, you have the most bestest hugs i have ever received.
so great i have to use improper grammar to describe them.
.....best word in the dictonary, next to 'you', of course.

-------------------------------
enjoy darlings!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfreakomaniacadisical:
Freakomaniacadisical Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2010
Hmm.. Good work. Congratulations on the DLD! :D
_____________
Here, check
Estranged [link]
Isolated Emotions? [link]
Juxtapositions [link]
Draw A Blank World [link]
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2010   Photographer
thank you.
Reply
:iconpagesofdreams:
PagesOfDreams Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2009   Writer
[link] Featured. :)
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2009   Photographer
second feature for this poem, how weird! Thanks!
Reply
:iconpagesofdreams:
PagesOfDreams Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2009   Writer
You're welcome. :aww:
Reply
:iconpagesofdreams:
PagesOfDreams Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2009   Writer
I love the play with pathetic and apathetic in your poem. Marvelous.
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2009   Photographer
thank you very much.
Reply
:iconpagesofdreams:
PagesOfDreams Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2009   Writer
Yup! :D
Reply
:iconisaac-volpe:
Isaac-Volpe Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2009
Nicely written, the last line was glorious.
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009   Photographer
thanks
Reply
:iconisaac-volpe:
Isaac-Volpe Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2009
No Problem.
Reply
:iconclandestinehearts:
ClandestineHearts Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
how the hell did i not read this! >.< now i'm mad! This is an amazing poem and it made me cry :hug:
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009   Photographer
Thank you, darling. :tighthug:
Reply
:iconconfusion-delusion:
Confusion-Delusion Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I loved this.
I gotta say though, i especially like the last stanza^^
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009   Photographer
Thanks. :)
Reply
:iconkamcalste:
kamcalste Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Wonderful work! :) This definitely went beyond the typical teenage love poem. It was interesting, refreshing, and had a unique voice.
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009   Photographer
thanks. :D
Reply
:iconnathanzachary:
nathanzachary Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009
I really enjoy the last two lines as well. They add a light, adolescent, transitional, and fun element to the piece that, coming at the end, leave the reader feeling a little reminiscent, a little nostalgic, and a little hopeful of things to come.
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009   Photographer
Thank you.
Reply
:iconalmcdermid:
almcdermid Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Not only extremely sweet, but also well-constructed and clever. I especially like the last 2 lines.
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009   Photographer
:D Thanks!
Reply
:iconalmcdermid:
almcdermid Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
very welcome
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009
A sweetly flavoured piece of very subtle irony. Poets don't often pretend they can't wriet poems. Many of them don't have to!

Congratulations on your DLD
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009   Photographer
Oh, nevermind i figured out what a DLD was. Lol.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009
:heart:
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009   Photographer
Thanks. DLD?
Reply
:iconpaperboatdreams:
PaperBoatDreams Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
So impressive! the first stanza explained my thoughts on poetry SO well! and you carried the informal tone throughout this work so well :] thank you it made me smile.
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009   Photographer
I'm glad you feel this way! I love making people smile.
Reply
:iconpaperboatdreams:
PaperBoatDreams Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
:D
Reply
:iconcajra:
cajra Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2009  Professional Writer
ah, you should listen to others who liked this- it's very easy to relate to! the poem was refreshing to read-it's different from the same style i usually see on this site. that's a good thing :heart:
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009   Photographer
Thanks.
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2009
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article here: [link]

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009   Photographer
OhMyGod! Yay! Thank you!
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2009
It was our pleasure.
Reply
:iconradioactiverachael:
radioactiverachael Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2009   Writer
i think my favorite thing ever, in the world, next to fall out boy and thunderstorms, is this. no joke. i related so strongly with the first line, and your whole word scheme just had me entranced. i ADORE your clever little ways of slipping emotion in there, you remind me of pete in your writing, actually.

it's a very blink and you'll miss it kind of style. your work can't be skimmed. it's gotta be looked at and held and read aloud and thought about. love it.
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2009   Photographer
Wow, thanks! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconradioactiverachael:
radioactiverachael Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2009   Writer
Sure thing. :heart:
Reply
:iconfalloutgrrl:
falloutgrrl Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2009
oh amazing :)
Reply
:icontoseeabutterfly:
ToSeeAButterfly Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2009   Photographer
thanks. :)
Reply
:iconfalloutgrrl:
falloutgrrl Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2009
np :)
Reply
Add a Comment:
 

:icontoseeabutterfly: More from ToSeeAButterfly


Featured in Collections

My Favorite Literature by RunningBear5858

literature by loverz116


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
October 27, 2009
File Size
961 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,020
Favourites
30 (who?)
Comments
40